Self love

I completely fucked up with that quote a day concept. However, I realised something that’s made me feel really melancholy, and that’s that my blog runs out at the end of next month. So at the end of March, this is going to disappear. All of my posts too. Unless I pay £120 which is annoyingly dollar that I don’t own. I’m sad about that. I’ll miss this blog so much, even if I don’t post all that much, I adore having this as a way to vent and to share stuff. So I’ll try to make the most of the next month or so (she says and then barely posts, a foreshadowing).

Today’s blog post is something that’s been stewing with me for a while, but I feel like it’s boiled over today rather. I said a few posts ago about how I struggle with self love and self confidence a lot, and the last couple of months it’s been really fucking with me. Today I’ve had a very sad, obsessive day as a result of that, with me ending up doing some not very nice things to my body. Starting the blog with that, you’d think that this was going to be a really negative, upsetting post. But nope, the absolute opposite (I hope).

The media tries to push this bodily ideal, particularly to younger people, that you have to look a certain way. It presents this idea that we need a tiny little waist with ridiculous curves, like the Kardashians, or a really skinny, tall body like a models in order to be beautiful. Yet this is so heavily flawed.

Not looking a certain way or fitting a particular ‘ideal’ doesn’t stop a person from being beautiful, not at all. Something I’ve always credited myself with is that I see beauty in absolutely everything, my friend was talking to me earlier and told me that I see everything through such a pretty lens, and that was one of the biggest compliments I’ve ever been given (I believe everybody needs to invest in some of these lenses). You see, beauty is so subjective, everyone’s perspective of what beautiful is will be something different. You don’t have to fit this weird beauty standard that’s forced upon us to be amazing. Fuck the media and it’s bullshit. Fuck comparing yourself to unrealistic body types, in fact, fuck comparing yourself to anybody that isn’t you. I was talking to one of my friend’s recently, because he’s a very self assured human, which is something I heavily admire, and I asked him how he doesn’t compare himself to other people. Then he asked me why should he, which I replied with ‘well they might have features you consider more desirable than your own’. He told me he doesn’t compare because he knows that there’ll be people who look at him and admire his features, and he wouldn’t want to let them down by trying to change himself. Human’s are like that though, I feel like we always want to be something other than who we are, and it’s very hard to just be comfortable in yourself.

Then as soon as we are comfortable in ourselves, nothing can stop that. Not the media, not comparison, nobody. If you like yourself and your body, that’s all that matters. My friend Libby told me to do this thing where in the morning, every step you make to the bathroom, you say something you like about yourself. I think this is a really important thing to do, as oppose to fixating on what you see as negative, focus on what you see as positive. Everybody deserves to feel self love, everybody deserves to look after and appreciate themselves. Our bodies do everything for us, they deserve love in return! Literally, my body has gotten through several bouts of malnutrition, and a lot of neglect, but here it is, still spending every second of the day fighting and surviving. In order to try to achieve this, these are the steps towards loving myself I’m taking personally;  I’m going to concentrate on being and wearing and acting as I’m comfortable. For nobody other than myself.

I’m also going to remind myself every day that I’m beautiful for so much more than what’s on the outside, because we all are. There’s far too much focus on what we look like, in order to fit what we see as the ‘world’s ideals’. You know, perfectly silky hair, soft smooth spotless skin, a perfectly symmetrical face, etc. Honestly though, the people I find the most attractive and beautiful are completely individual. The only mould they fit is the one they create for themselves. Some of them are bigger, some of them are smaller, some of them have curly hair, some have straight, they’re all completely different but all completely amazing. Yet the reason I find them so amazing isn’t because of their physical features, it’s because of who they are as people. As soon as you appreciate someone as a human being, it reflects onto the outside. Yes, there are supermodels that might fit into ‘societal beauty standards’ more than these people, but that has no relevance to me and never will.

So basically, the point of this blog post is me saying ‘love yourself’. Focus on being comfortable in yourself, and fucking off unrealistic media-driven beauty standards. Create your own mould, and there’ll always be people that love you for it (they’re the only ones that really matter).

Lots of love,

Anna

 

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